if you haven't noticed, the BentWithLight and tactil vision releases are now free downloads. i will get into the moral arguments and justifications in my blog later. there are also links to my facebook where i interact more often...
from now on, i will publish further creative writing/metaphysical musings about life, death, sex, the music industry and my art/projects here. join in the discussion- proper punctuation and typo not necessary!
Waiting patient, surrounded by soft sound, until my number comes up. There are magazines full of Hollywood psycho-junk, a box of engineered cut-and-paste schizophrenia with overdubbed sound effects and laugh tracks; others like me- poor, sick and disillusioned. The bleached radiation filters through my skin from above; there's a silver box attached to the wall that spurts out a clear liquid resembling water, but leaves dried-up crusty white stuff. There's a child, sucking on the business end of a magic marker. Her mother's attention is fixed on the magic box. War breaks out in a tiny country that exports narcotics. Her fingers smell like a thousand chemicals and her skin is ashy and wrinkled. In the magazine she sees a body part she would like to make her own. New and Used cars with factory-to-dealer incentives and instant cash back on your trade- pull it, push it or drag it in. She is contemplating doing away with herself; saying goodbye to it all, once and for good. A new bathroom tissue dispenser that automatically tears off the correct amount with a press of a button. The doctor can't sort out which diagnosis fits her best, but suspects she suffers from a simple case of neglect at an early age. Hormone pills for weight loss. The cold, black coffee stares at her from inside a paper cup cut from the finest trees north of Portland. The music continues with a covertune from George Michael. Advertisement for Cherry Flavored Toothpaste. She tells the child to mind.
One day, a young pupil asked, "Master, what does it mean to be enghtened?." The master then smiled and told the boy a story: "Once there was a small village in the south. It was secluded and when the boys of the village were ready to pass into manhood, they fasted for three days and then on the fourth, attended a ceremony led by the Viilage elder and his priests. After the music, dancing and singing, the boys were to sit and carefully listen to the rules of The Labyrinth.
"After the chief priest gave his blessing, the elder spoke down upon the seated pupils, while the warriors of the village sat lotus-style along the walls of the temple and the villagers stood anxiously outside. "He said, 'It is now time for you to enter The Labyrinth. You must all hurry to find your guardian spirit, for some never find their way back out, starve and die. You will each be given food but must not eat it, for your guardian spirit is hungry too, so you must feed him first. If you do, he will lead you out of the labyrinth to safety and your manhood will begin. If you do not, your guardian will die and assuredly, you will too. Your spirits will take the form of an animal that suits you. Once you find him, you will know it by looking him straight into the eye. Above all, the most important thing to remember is to be unselfish and always give.'"
"Then the five boys lined up at the entrance of the labyrinth and upon hearing the sound of the temple gong, they took off with speed through the maze. "The first boy was given meat. About halfway through, his hunger got the best of him and he took a few bites and just then saw a large leopard before him, drooling. The boy then tossed the entire piece to the leopard and the leopard devoured it whole and was sure to assist him to the exit. He was to become the villages butcher. "The second boy was given rice, so he put it in his pocket, where there was a hole and some leaked from it. About halfway through, he did not see his animal was a rat, who was following him the entire time. But the boy made it out, as did the rat. He later became the village's timekeeper. The third boy was given water and upon meeting the dog, he set the bowl down in front of the dog and when finished, the dog found a lifelong friend to guide the boy out of the maze. The boy later became the village counselor. The fourth boy was given a dead toad. Of course, the boy, no matter how hungry he was, was not going to eat the toad. He met his guardian animal, a snake and the snake, upon finishing the toad, slithered up the boy and curled itself around his neck. The boy was frightened, but he made it out of the Labyrith and he was to become the next village elder. The fifth boy was given a small piece of bread but did not find an animal at all and was very disappointed. He covered the entire labyrinth several times, hungry, lonely and it was getting dark. He decided to stop and rest. He thought to himself that it would be better to die than to exit the labyrinth without a guardian spirit. His life would surely be meaningless and purposeless and he would have to become the village beggar. He quickly fell to sleep.
Then suddenly, he saw another boy. The other boy was even smaller and emaciated and although he wanted to eat, the fifth boy threw the piece of bread on the ground and then, the other smaller boy immediately picked it up and devoured it. Before he could finish it, in disgust, the fifth pupil went over and stuck his finger down the other boys throat and up came the bread! He then walked away, weeping in the pitch black and the next morning finally made it out of the labyrinth. Although he was the last to finish, and was full of guilt, he was to become the village shaman, or priest and learned later that he had fallen asleep from exhaustion, put the piece of bread inside his shoe and dreamed about the whole occurence with the other boy."
The pupil spoke up after the story was finished. "Why did the last boy not become shunned and labeled a failure? Why did he instead become the spiritual leader of the village? What does this mean, Master?" The Master replied, "The other boys learned through their success, but the last boy learned through his failure. He realized that dispite his life being at stake, so was his self-respect and dignity." The Master then said, "Food nourishes the body, but hunger nourishes the soul."
Here Lies Another Dead Junkie or Our Pilot Has Lost His Mind His ambitions were smart-- He had a lot to say until one day the punctuation mark he left for the world was a shotgun suicide. (Our old friend Hunter) Yes, We all have to die sometime And this great man made sure that his end would be stellar. Some prefer flowers and eulogies or "The Old Rugged Cross" to mark their passing. Some believe that it is a celebration of a life that noone else can experience. And yes, Some secretly desire death, Just counting the days, Taking up space. Or there was a line that they crossed and they didn't think twice or turn back- They were prepared to go meteor. It's hard to make sense of terrestrial coincidences but What needed to happen happened. Because there has always been a war going on in everyone's world between good and evil, Right and wrong, This and that. And there is a reason for this, though I am only a monkey strapped to a chair. And truth, in it's weird and wacky way will eventually out. Everyone will know exactly who everyone else is and their secrets and sins will be exposed for all to see, So that once and for all there will be no more doubt that we have all been had One time or another. So I can't keep on fooling myself anymore, I am getting older and I have done everything I could and then some more until it got me where I didn't want to be in the first place. But I bought the ticket I jumped in the rocket And I took the ride. Major Tom and I seen all kinds of beautiful and strange things up there, Until we finally ran out of air and stopped breathing. Then I thought: "What kind of foolishness is that?" Still, the moon seems to be attractive for those who can't tolerate the gravity of life on earth. And noone wants to be your friend when you are a million miles away and still taking up space.