A joke of truth comes rising in the east- it is the new enemy. It no longer feels or empathizes, only destroys. The flesh is not saved, the wrongs are not righted- words disguise pale truth. All is formula, all is nourishment to be broken down in the Hydrogen. And purified? The gods laugh. Corruption is your lot, Venus. Delusion yours, Mercury. Brought to the zenith only to be cast down- this is the tale too tall to tell.

And words fail. We fail, we are small and insignificant. Insects in the sun, glistening with our self-righteous fluids and suffering. Warpaths in the undergrowth, a jungle of lies. Kill and survive. Rest and die...

Refusal is the acceptance that actually like wars with like instead of opposites: which corresponds with my own experience. Defiance denies the reality of aloneness and responsibility and can be called an immature form of refusal. 

Even more, the distinctions of religion and personal belief systems no longer serves the needs of a State or the world's imperialists to define and control one people from another in order to perpetuate the programs of nationality and the consumption of wealth by means of warfare to keep the many impoverished.  It appears more clearly that there is no middle ground in the struggle for survival; that either an organism or species or people either is growing in life or in decay.

Especially when the various crises of basic needs such as food, water and health are being further threatened while the world's population grows exponentially in a fragile system that is the natural processes of earth; those that exist in the insular world of wealth and privilege become more and more unaware of the real threat that surrounds them, as can be proved by many historical accounts from the Romans to the Maya.  If it is humanities mistake that has been committed again and again, it is the abandonment of the principle of the concern for the lowest in society, so that none can claim guilt from profiting from suffering and misery instead of actual contribution.

If society is an organism, from a biological/anthropological view, there is less likely a chance that one will be very successful, no matter what circumstances of comfort or plenty; that when hard times hit, the small wound that a hunting lion for example, will suffer will grow into a major liability when resources are scarce.

So also, in the struggle for not only our survival, but our progress that such things such as climate change be taken seriously even if it later proves to not be so. The very fact that the most wealthy nation in the world spends billions on warfare (death) and not on humanitarianism (life) suggests a pathology that no technology can solve if not in the hands of those who possess insight into the subtleties and nuances of being human. When an empire prides itself on the golden chalice of pride and does not take into account that that chalice is filled with innocent blood, it is indeed cursed by its own hand.

So with this and my own accounting of motivations, besides art for art's sake- one cannot be an artist and antisocial at the same time: that the very creative spirit that fuels the work is of the basic desire for expansion, evolution and change.  Even alone, the inspired realize that they do not exist in a vacuum, that no matter how "far out" they may appear, actually they are only reprocessing old data and information into something new and useful or a vessel by which millions of years of evolution reveals itself via one small adjustment of trajectory. That although most work seems sublime and undefined, once in awhile, if given closer attention, the work may be realized into something that is quite obvious, practical and necessary.

Most of the artists and musicians that have inspired me have had some sort of philosophy of what life was about, or a vision; and most always desired to be on the cutting edge not for recognition, but to serve as societies' conscience to an extent. They ultimately had to make their own way, getting rid of conditioning and inherited beliefs based on dualistic either/or thinking or motives based on fear.

I am the Machine.

These archetypes: The Devil, God, Jesus and Satan exist as parts of a whole; an artist becomes aware of the tragedy and comedy of it all, that these faces are parts of a grand performance in order for mankind to become aware of himself.

The frustration becomes unbearable, the irony- a bitter undercurrent; especially when archetypes have long outlived their usefulness and once again art takes ownership of itself, belonging to noone, a current of it's own, not to be bought and sold and used to further an ego's vain attempts. When people are finally tired of the same scenes being re-enacted over and over ad infinitum- secretly they wish for the end, to return to something real.  But the real has been long forgotten by now. Everything is conjecture, myth. 

But there will always be the brave and foolish who wish to play the Hero/Villian, those that seek to differentiate themselves paradoxically become assimilated.  The illusion of "escape" persists, like an oasis in a desert of futility. Many will desire to go beneath the surface, but few will survive the depths of depravity.

My own experience was my first site [IIRC] was hosted by Yahoo, in which i was making music under the TVKiLL name, which was an expression of an inward sense even at an early age of the artificial reality that was being perpetuated.  At that time, after 9/11, there were a lot of magnetic American flags that people were placing on their automobiles to signify 'national solidarity' (which was another fashion trend that quickly dissolved quickly; perhaps the landfills are testament to this with all sorts of used American flag magnets). In our first performance, i used this as a sign of protest, placing the [war banner] upside-down with our band name... A pic of this was posted on my home page, which was mysteriously shut down...

I hate politics- but politics exists everywhere- it is another word for "power". Even if the conspiracists are right, the fault lies with us the people.  What behind-the-scenes treachery is being executed can be summed up by the movie The Wizard Of Oz- it seems we have been subtly programmed that once the curtain is pulled back to reveal the old man pulling the levers, we would much prefer living in our illusion that there is some sort of great truth or meaning to explain it all. 

If i were a tyrant, i would have perfect justification; i would say, "I gave you cable news, the internet, free speech and the ability and even the right to overthrow any government that was threatening your pursuit of Life, Liberty and The Pursuit Of Happiness.  I provided a means for you to network and find out for yourselves (if you so had the uncommon motivation) to investigate for yourself the facts behind the causes of why your way of life is being threatened- either via terrorism, the economy, wars, or your own politicians. You were given every opportunity to take responsibility and yet, in the richest nation in the world, what did you do?  You did exactly what humanity has done since the beginning of Empire- you traded your freedom for a quieter life.  You passively gave your power to elected officials and followed blindly even when corruption was obvious, for fear that the "status quo" would end.  You denied and negated those who sought to expose the truth about me and made them appear to be lunatics. You were pacified finally into a state of apathy and paranoia, ready to follow whatever dictates I laid.  If I were to say- the yellow man, he is the enemy- you agreed to destroy the yellow man. If I say- the Muslim- he is now the enemy- again, you take up arms against them.  Why? If you are halfway to the truth about me, you will realize that they nor I am the real enemy. The enemy is the person whom you are the most fearful of- YOU."

The real crisis i see is now man's alienation from himself, his responsibility to become an individual of his own making instead of a product of his environment: forsaken- which must be the real essence of any whole (or holy) life; which is basically the person deciding to take certain attitudes and actions to be more than he is.

And finally, this is the most efficient method of control, the control of the mind.  From television to LSD25, it has always been, "the winning of hearts and minds".

A small list of principles is being assembled that have molded my journey thus far that i would eventually like to share, which seem to take root from the innermost relationship with oneself to the society at large, which has always been the connection that i have personally tried to amend since the onset of 'spiritual crisis' in 1998.

i am a born skeptic. Now, the mid-term elections are a week away; i can already feel the disassociation that people must have by the bombardment of TV ads. It is becoming clear the more that the human need to explain why things are the way they are, or to form a belief system is being hijacked by those with less than good intentions; that the basic good nature of the average person is being distorted into a tool that the user inflicts on himself and in which the provider remains without blame. Belief is now become a form of fear- it has been said experience IS the supreme value in life and this experience comes from knowledge.

 The process of creating a system that is not escapist religion nor myth, but a method of being that is practical- that is active and not passive interests me.  i do not write this to martyr myself, or for any recognition, or even out of any small inkling that consensus reality can or should "change", but more out of a concern for my own welfare.  It is a lengthy discourse that be distilled into the basic instinct of self-preservation; not only existing, but existing fully.

There is another "i" in another existence, similar to this one but not the same.  It is no more or less equal- it was created out of a random chance that propelled this other me into another direction and so, it follows its course.  This other me also perceives his existence in a linear fashion, for he must be unaware as a three-dimensional creature of the unexplainable forces that mold his fate, though he is an enthusiastic and active participant. This lack of knowledge fuels him to persist, for enlightenment means the grave.

I am on my way to truly loving my enemy, which is me, my shadow; the part that survives even if it means playing the role of wolf.  Because we all wear masks and should- if life itself were to be summed up in a few words it still remains "Do As Thy Wilt", since we are called on not to remain as we are, but to become greater than we are: a great responsibility, and one that often is only taken up when a person is pushed beyond the binary illusions, when making believe's security arouses contempt on a visceral level.  All must answer the final judgment: Was i true to myself?